Think positive and let go of negative thoughts. Your loved ones need your time so be with them. Seek guidance and path from an experienced mentor and then decide.
I started discovering Tarot cards around year 2004, alongside learning Reiki the same year. Courtesy Reiki, the interest in the mystical had already started to take effect. As Reiki is practiced the intuition starts to develop, and this led to a greater curiosity about Tarot.